Lelouch Gets A MySpace
by One Sided Pancake
Summary: When Suzaku suggests Lelouch make his own MySpace page, what could possibly go wrong? Follow Lelouch as he falls victim to instant messaging, electronics, gaming, memes, and more! A story internet users can relate to. Rated T for some minor language.
1. MySpace, not YourSpace

**Hello!**

**  
One Sided Pancake, bringing you a one-shot humor fic. For once, this story doesn't have any violence in it! Yippee! Hooray! But, like all my fanfics... It does have hints of language. Well, anyways... I figured MySpace would be the most common site besides Yahoo! to do the story based off of... But, I'm not familiar to Yahoo! as much as I am to other sites... If you don't use myspace, you may not get a few of these.**

**Notes:**

**When a sentence or word is written surrounded in [[ these types of brackets ]], it means it is the computer or the website that is saying it.**

**Depending on this story's popularity, I may or may not turn it from a one-shot to a multiple chapter story.  
**

**So, without further ado, please enjoy!**

**

* * *

- LELOUCH GETS A MYSPACE -  
**

Lelouch was sitting down at his desk, laptop lying before him. He took a sip of Coca Cola from a nearby mug. C.C had ordered pizza, as always...Except this time, she accidentally recieved soda with the order as well. Lelouch carefully set the mug down in its original spot, not taking his eyes off the computer screen. Suzaku had given Lelouch a URL link to his MySpace, saying that Lelouch should visit it sometime.

"Here, Lelouch. This is my URL to my MySpace. You should make one, too, and we could talk on it. Besides, it's really fun...I've been hooked on it."

"No thanks," Lelouch had said at the time. "I don't need some stupid networking site to keep me entertained. I'd rather be doing other things...Like taking over Britannia and stuff."

"Suit yourself." Suzaku had replied before walking off in the opposite direction.

Lelouch could remember Suzaku saying that everyone had one... Euphie, Shirley, Rivalz... Heck, even Charles zi Britannia had his own MySpace!

_What was so great about MySpace, anyways, _Lelouch thought.

Besides...It's just a stupid kiddy site that people go to when they're craved for attention... But there were an awful lot of users... 53 million users? There had to be something to it that Lelouch just couldn't see...

Unless there were really 53 million bored morons in this world who decided to waste 3 hours of each day making their MySpace pages look pretty for the three people who even care to look at it.

Oh, well... Lelouch decided. It couldn't hurt to make one...

_**WAIT! **_

_What was he thinking?! _Lelouch can't give in to Suzaku! He wouldn't make a MySpace! _Never! Never!_

But he was curious...

"Okay, okay...I'll make one...But if I don't like it, I will destroy it!" Lelouch claimed aloud.

Resuming his activity, Lelouch inched the mouse towards the "Sign Up" button.

Yeah. He'd try MySpace out. He just wouldn't tell Suzaku. Telling Suzaku that he had made a MySpace after he said he was better than that would be admitting defeat. And 'defeat' was not a word known to the dictionary of Lelouch vi Britannia.

Unless Britannia was the recipient of the verb. _Then_ it was acceptable.

But not now!

C.C, lying on a nearby bed with an open box of steaming pizza, was getting irritated. Lelouch had been hogging the laptop for a few hours now.

"Would you just hurry up and make your damn page already? Imagine the humiliation you would face if people were to see you like this; Zero; killer of the powerful and savior of the weak; yet can't even make his own MySpace."

"Shut up." Lelouch snarled as he threw a small eraser at C.C in response. He turned his attention back to the laptop-screen.

**[[ Please enter your valid e-mail. ]]**

"E-mail... Let's see....LLamperouge (at) britannianmsn (dot) heb" (H.E.B = **H**oly **E**mpire of **B**ritannia)

**[[ Please choose a password. ]]**

"Hmm...How about... 'LelouchiscoolerthanSuzaku'?"

**[[ Full name? ]]**

Lelouch vi Britannia - Er, I mean... Lamperouge.

**[[ Age? ]]**

17... Wait, no... I need to get the ladies... 18.

**[[ Gender ]]**

I'm not sure... But male sounds good enough.

**[[ Accepted. Please log in. ]]**

W00t!

"It's about freaking time!" C.C shouted from the bed.

"Go die in a ditch..."

"You know I'll just come back, right?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

**[[ You have a friend request. ]]**

"What the...Who is this guy...? "Tom"...? I've never seen him before... Oh well." Lelouch clicked 'accept'.

**[[ People you might know: ]] **

**Suzaku Kururugi**

**Age 17**

**The Holy Empire of Britannia**

**Headline : Suzaku wuz here**

Lelouch decided to check out Suzaku's page, so he hit the link above Suzaku's name. He was then taken to a page, with various pictures of him as his default. His background theme was the typical Ichigo picture from BLEACH. His song was "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga.

"Wow... How lame." Lelouch said aloud to himself. "I could _totally_ make a better page than this."

Lelouch then proceeded to search up various theme sites in hopes of creating a better page than Suzaku.

C.C decided to go downstairs, as it seemed like Lelouch wasn't going to give up the computer anytime soon. She took the box of pizza with her, and she turned out the light in hopes of making Lelouch snapping out of his trance-like phase. Lelouch didn't even seem to notice that she had turned out the lights.

"Ooookay, Lelouch. I'm going downstairs."

"Uh-huh..." Lelouch mumbled.

"So, uh...Here I go~."

"Yeah..." he responded in his trance.

"I'm heading towards the stairs~..." C.C said in a rising tone in her voice.

"Mhm."

"Gee, I sure hope I don't fall and have to get stitches!" C.C called behind her to Lelouch, who hadn't even taken his eyes off of the screen.

"Watch your step..."

"Go die."

"Let me finish editing my page first..."

"You're hopeless."

Lelouch then looked behind his shoulder to see C.C standing in the doorway.

"Oh, C.C! When did you get here? I didn't even hear you come in. Look, I've edited my page!!"

C.C groaned, threw a slice of sizzling hot pizza at Lelouch's face, and proceeded to walk down the stairs.

"Men!" she cried.

- - - - - - - Five and a half hours later - - - - - - - - 

C.C woke up on the living-room couch to find that she had accidentally fallen asleep while watching T.V. She yawned, stretched her arms a bit, and then sat up. She glanced over at the grandfather clock and noticed the time. 5:46 AM? Wow, this was sure to throw her sleeping schedule off balance. C.C then thought she imagined the sound of the clacking of keyboard keys being typed. There's no way Lelouch could still be up, could there?

Slowly, C.C staggered upstairs to Lelouch's room. She opened the door slowly, and peered inside. Sure enough, Lelouch still sat at his computer; lights out, computer on, fingers furiously typing and mouse rapidly scrolling. C.C got a little furious. She flickered on the lights, and Lelouch cried out in pain.

"Gyaaaaaa! Turn it off! Turn it off!!! The light-!!! IT BURNSSSS!!!" Now, if C.C really had loved Lelouch like the best friends forever that they were, C.C would have turned the light off in kindness to her friend. However, C.C was not nice and didn't turn out the lights in kindness for Lelouch, so Lelouch just had to suffer with the light for the time being.

C.C looked at Lelouch. He was a mess! Bloodshot eyes, bad posture, bags forming under his eyes, and a sharp attitude, atop of all of that. If Lelouch's fan girls were to catch a sight of Lelouch at a time like this, they might be compelled to rip their eyes out in horror.

"You mean to tell me that you've been up all this time...Editing your profile?!? Get a life! Seriously!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm not resting until I get a better profile than Suzaku! I already photo-shopped my pictures and posted them... And now, thanks to a friend adder, I have 325858 friends on my contacts list. Oh, hey, look! My dad has a Myspace, too..."

"Really? Let me see...

**[[ Charles zi Britannia. **

**Age 490589085, **

**Holy Empire of Britannia. **

**Headline : Bow down to your king, biatches!1!" ]]**

"..."

"..."

"Well, anyways, it's past your bedtime. Go to bed."

"Just one more minute, Mom." Lelouch begged.

"Don't mock me! It's not like I care if you go on this site or not. You can't die from sleep deprivation before you fulfill your contract with me, is all!"

"Suuuuuure... Well, then, just give me a few more minutes... I just got a comment on my default pics."

C.C sighed and jumped out the window, knocking herself unconscious.

**- - - - - - Seven hours later - - - - - - - **

By the time C.C regained her consciousness, she went inside to check the time again. 12 PM? Lelouch was in school now. Thank goodness, she could have some friends over for her party!

C.C's thoughts were interrupted by a loud thud noise, coming from upstairs.

"What was that?" C.C said as she treaded the stairs. Searching all the rooms for the source, she stopped at Lelouch's door.

"Oh, god. Don't tell me..." she said as she opened the door.

Lelouch lie, unconscious, on the floor next to his desk chair. His laptop lay to his side, and his mouse hanging from the desktop.

"I knew it."

**- - - - - - Seven months later - - - - - -**

Lelouch has gotten back on track of his life. He realized that there is more to life than MySpace and that he has many other things he can do to replace the void of the hours he spent visiting that evil site. Having been sober for 4 months today, Lelouch now plays basketball. He tried out for the Le Cross team. He even got elected Vice President of Ashford Academy! In the end, Lelouch didn't need MySpace, nor will he ever type in the dreaded URL into the address bar ever again.

Walking down the pavement of Ashford Academy, Lelouch proudly greeted Suzaku, who also has gotten over his MySpace addiction.

"Hey Lelouch!" Suzaku greeted in a chipper tone.

"Hi Suzaku." Lelouch called back.

"So hey, Lelouch, listen, listen... I was browsing around yesterday and I found this! I think you should make one of these!"

Suzaku then held out a piece of paper with a URL on it. Lelouch grabbed it, and Suzaku walked away.

Lelouch held the paper in his hand. He then read it aloud.

**"Facebook."**


	2. Why Don't You Say it to my FaceBook

_Plot: When Lelouch is dragged into a picnic with the student council, Lelouch brings his laptop to check his latest obsession of a website, Facebook. _

_What could possibly go wrong?_

This story has a little bit more of a storyline before we reach the anticipated Facebook part of it. It's humor, though.

* * *

_**  
Why Don't You Say it to My Face...Book**_

It was a bright and chipper day in the skies of the world; birds, flying. Children, singing. Dead bodies of Britannian elites, surprisingly absent. With these aspects in mind, what kind of person _wouldn't _want to be outside on a day like this?

Well, there _was_ one person, actually... Lelouch vi Britannia. But nonetheless, his opinion didn't matter once his BFF Suzaku dragged him outside to enjoy a picnic with all of the Student Council.

"Here is a good spot!" Milly pointed out to a patch of earth next to an open running sewer line. The rest of the student council nodded at first, but then shook their heads in disagreement. Kind of like a critic at an art museum.

"You have GOT to be kidding..." Suzaku said with a half-joking smile, hoping Milly wasn't actually considering sitting there, and would laugh too.

"I wasn't." Milly said with a serious face. Suzaku's jaw dropped to the ground. Literally. "You're going to pick that up, right?" Milly said as she walked around it with a disgusted face. Suzaku apologized and fixed his jaw back into place as he continued to speak.

"Well then! How about somewhere a little less..._crappy_...like, over here." Suzaku said as he pointed to an area far, _far_ away from Milly's original choice.

"...Fine." Shirley said as her nose crinkled.

"Shirley, can you please set up the blanket?"

"Yeah," Shirley said as she began to unroll a red and white checkered cloth. "I think I forgot the pins to keep it in place, though."

"Why do we need that, when we'll just be sitting on it anyways..?"

"I dunno. I"m a female anime character. It's my job to suggest pointless and obvious things which could go unsaid for eternity and still not matter to the reader. Hey, look! We're about to have a picnic!!!" Shirley exclaimed.

"..."

As Shirley set up the blanket, Milly set down a huge wireless stereo. She then fiddled with the antenna to get reception. A song began to faintly play, and Milly nodded in agreement with the music as she cranked up the volume. "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN..." Everyone else just rolled their eyes and pretended like Milly was mentally alright in the head.

Nina emotionlessly set down the picnic basket the second Shirley was finished laying the blanket. Suzaku pitched a red and white umbrella to keep everyone out of the shade, but they would rather sit on the unshaded part of the blanket in hopes of a tan. Except for the one and only Lelouch.

Lelouch sat under the blanket, brooding. He was having no fun. He reached into his laptop carrier and pulled out his wireless laptop. Placing it on his lap, like a laptop should be placed, (Hence the word, LAP TOP) Lelouch hit the power button and waited impatiently as the computer started up.

"C'mon, load... LOAD!!!" Lelouch hit his laptop on the keyboard in hopes that the laptop would somehow become afraid that it would fall victim to domestic abuse again and force it's internal system to work faster.

"Oh man...Lelouch, you didn't bring that laptop of yours again, did you?" Rivalz questioned rhetorically as he shook his gravity defying hair. "Milly's gonna kill you."

"Shut up. I'm just checking my Facebook." Lelouch answered. Besides, it's what he'd be doing if he were left at peace in his home, hadn't Suzaku forced him to go to this lame picnic.

"Okay, everyone. Please enjoy the meal that Shirley and I prepared!" Milly exclaimed a few minutes after setting up the blanket. "And Lelouch, put that thing away. No one wants to see that. There are children here."

Looking down to make sure it was the_ laptop _Milly was talking about, Lelouch sighed and put it back into the case that it should be stored. "Fine." He sighed. Sitting in the shade alongside Lelouch, Shirley handed him a ham and cheese sandwich, to which Lelouch took a bite out of instantly. Shirley then jumped into action, grabbed the once-bitten sandwich out of Lelouch's hand, and began to worship it as if it were a blessing from god.

"Another item to add to my collection...!" Shirley exclaimed before she put the sandwich in a plastic bag, sealed it tightly, and put it in her pocket.

Lelouch shrugged his shoulders and looked around to see if anyone was watching him. When the sign was clear, Lelouch proceeded to remove his laptop from it's storage space, setting it on his lap. When it finally started up, Lelouch frantically typed in his password to access his obsession-site, Facebook. He quickly looked around his profile page to see if he had any new Wall Posts... None. However, it WAS Euphie's birthday in another week and Lelouch said "Maybe" to Kallen's event invitation to go to a "_We Love Zero_" rally that would be held tomorrow.

On the other hand, VV's relationship status changed from "_In a Relationship_" to "_It's Complicated_". Rolo's status was "_My brothers an ass, hope he doesn't find out I stole his credit card lol jk ily, big bro_". Nunnally apparently was a fan of _Breakfast Sausage_, and how the hell she was able to read the computer screen in order to affirm, Lelouch has no idea.

Lelouch decided to change his status to " _the student council picnic with friends...bored, text meeee_" in hopes of getting out of his boredom.

"LELOUCH! Put the laptop away! You're with friends, for crying out loud!" Milly demanded. "Cheer up, emo kid."

The song on the radio changed to match the atmosphere; "_I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be. You'd be non-conforming too, if you looked just like me..._" Lelouch rolled his eyes as he flipped his hair out of his face and muttered how he hates the world and everyone on it, including himself. He then proceeded to pull out his diary and angrily write a note in it, but Milly couldn't see it.

"Fine! Just give me a minute--"

"Now. Put the laptop away, NOW."

"Grrr..." Lelouch said as he laid the laptop next to him. Why wouldn't they just let him check his Facebook in peace? All he wanted was a couple of minutes... Was that so much to ask!?

**

* * *

**_**  
Later that day...**_

Home from the picnic, Lelouch sat in his dark room at 10:36 pm. It was night outside, and Lelouch remained awake at his desk, laptop open. Except now, it wasn't a laptop. It was a desk top. Because it was on top of a desk, and not a lap.

Typing furiously, Lelouch was editing his profile information. He was typing so loudly that it even woke Charles zi Britannia up, who slept in a guarded castle chamber over 50 miles away. Charles woke up in a fright, wearing pink bear jammies and a night hat. Clutching his favorite pink teddy bear closley to him, he was sucking his thumb.

"Did you hear something, Beary?!" The guards came into his chamber, told him to calm down, and when Charles broke into a temper tantrum, tranquilized him until he rest again peacefully.

Anyways, Lelouch was chatting with VV, who secretly wanted to hook up together, but Lelouch declined.

"wanna go out" VV asked.

"no" Lelouch responded. There's no way he'd be caught dead with a man in his 50s who has the appearance of a female child.

"y not" VV had questioned(?).

"ur not rly my type if u get wat i mean" Lelouch responded back with a sigh. Hoping that VV would just give up, Lelouch felt like pulling his hair out when VV sent a response.

"wat u mean"

Lelouch groaned and figured that VV wasn't going to give up anytime soon. He hit the logout button, to make sure that VV would see the logout message, and decided he would log back in in about 5 minutes once VV thought that he was offline. In the meantime, he would go downstairs and get a night time snack. CC, sitting on the living room couch with a slice of leftover pizza, began to strike a conversation with Lelouch.

"You know that you should be getting some sleep, right? You've got a speech to attend to as Zero tomorrow." CC pointed out.

"That may be so, but I still have to update my status." Lelouch yawned, quickly cutting it off to hide the fact from CC that he was very sleepy.

"Well, don't come crying to me if you fall asleep on stage and sleeptalk the secret about your fetish for Merry-Go-Rounds..."

"Argh! Would you just get over that already!!! It was a one time thing." Lelouch yelled, aggravated.

"Whatever," CC sighed as she took a bite of her baby flavored pizza, made with 98% real baby. Nutritious, AND delicious! Fun for the whole family!

* * *

_**  
The next day, in the middle of the Zero rally...**_

"And so, citizens of Britannia. I tell you once again that the rulership and dominance of your 'Holy Empire' has once again led this nation to nothing but--waffles...and...foot ointment...zzzzzzzzzzz..."

The crowd went into an outburst, millions of Japanese and Britannians yelling at the peak of their voices.

"Oh my god! Zero's asleep!!!"

"What!? How dare the holy empire lead us to waffles and foot ointment!"

"Yeah! This is unacceptable!!! Let's start an angry mob!!!"

"Yeah!"

"I'll get the pitchforks!"

"I'll get the fire torches!"

"I'll bring some freshly baked and nutritious Oatmeal Raisin cookies!"

"..."

"Grandma, you're not cool..."

"FOR WAFFLES AND FOOT OINTMENT!!!"

"WAFFLES AND FOOT OINTMENT!!!!!!"

"HUZAAAH!"

And with that, an old fashioned angry mob charged into the grounds of the Holy Empire headquarters.

* * *

_**  
Later that night, after the rally...**_

Lelouch sat in his chair at home, typing furiously. He was upset that he fell asleep during his big speech. On facebook, he changed his status.

"pissed off that i fell asleep the zero speech 2day... maybe 2marrow every1 will forget about it. Shower & then bed, text me..." Lelouch was so dissappointed. He really wished he could have stayed awake during his big presentation! He nearly scarred his reputation as Zero, but all that Lelouch wanted right now was a nice shower, and a friendly shoulder to confide on...

Suddenly, a bloop sound popped from the speakers of the laptop as a new message appeared on the screen.

"Hey baby, did u miss me???"

It was a message from VV. Lelouch threw his laptop out of the window for a dramatic effect, walking away like he didn't care. After about five minutes without his laptop he went into an emotional breakdown with tears and jumped out the window after it.

Two hours after recovering from a broken leg, five cracked ribs, and a 3rd degree burn (???), Lelouch was able to access his magically repaired laptop again. He decided that Facebook was an okay site, because he could confide in it.

Lelouch just noticed he had a new wall post, and was so curious to figure out who it could be. Hoping that it wasn't VV, Lelouch refreshed the page and clicked to view the message. It was from Kallen Stadtfeld.

"hey lelouch i know how you were upset when Tinky Winky from Teletubbies was kicked off the island last week on Survivor so i made you a video about him... its funny, watch it" Kallen had said in her goofy illiterate text.

Lelouch had looked down to the URL.

**Youtube. **

Lelouch had only ever heard of this websites name in whispers. It was the name everybody loved. It was the name everybody feared. It was kind of like Spongebob Squarepants, but with much more significance to it.

A drop of sweat rolled down from Lelouch's neck as he slowly moved the mouse toward the link... And clicked on it.

_**TO BE CONTINUED...?  
**_

* * *

**Unnecessary but nontheless existent AN - I am currently accepting suggestions for future chapters! Next Chapter will be Youtube. The chapter after that is already planned, as well, but after that, suggestions will be taken into considerations and use! Thank you for reading, and thank you for all your reviews! I love them all~  
**


	3. I Tube, YouTube, We All Tube

**[Once again, this story has a bit more plot before we reach the anticipated YouTube part. No spoiler in telling you that.]**

**Rating has also been changed to T for some language and possible references.**

**This chapter can get a little messy to read, my apologies.  
**

**

* * *

****I Tube, YouTube... We all Tube**

CC was in the dining room, seated at the wooden kitchen table. In front of her lay a paper menu for Pizza Hut. Next to that paper lie Chuck E Cheese token coupons. No comment on that. Deciding amongst her favorite pizzas, CC held Lelouch's Visa credit card in hand as she walked over to where the phone is hanging... well, _was _hanging, at least.

"Wha... Where's the phone?" CC checked her pants first (It wasn't in there this time) and then looked around the house about 4 hours before she finally gave up. She was just about to shout for Lelouch for help when said person came down from upstairs, pantless.

"Something wrong?" Lelouch questioned, stopping in front of CC.

"Yeah... Two things actually... One, you're not wearing any pants... Which isn't really much of a problem if you ask me... And two, where is the phone?" CC asked. "I can't get pizza without it. Or a cute delivery guy to come to our doorstep."

"Oh, _the phone_?" Lelouch scoffs as he folds his arms in a confident manner. "We don't _need_ a phone in this household, CC. We have _AOL instant messaging_, now." Lelouch had dragged on. "We also don't need pants. They're not _'in' _anymore. _And they're such a hassle to fold_... But don't worry, CC! I sure showed them who's boss." Lelouch then proceeded to throw a pair of black jeans into the blender, closed the lid, and selected the on button. In a couple seconds, they were reduced to a blue pulp. "Just pretend it's blueberries..." Lelouch said as he handed a cup to a randomly present Nunnally.

"Well... What about the cute delivery guy?" CC continued.

"We can just get VV to come to our doorstep, if that's what you're mad about. He's pretty hot, y'know... Well anyways, just go use AOL or something to find a cute pizza guy, or something... That's what I did." Lelouch turned around and began to caress the face of VV, holding a box of pizza in his lef thand. He was smiling.

CC, surprisingly undisturbed by VV's appearance in the kitchen for no apparent reason, shouted as she snapped her fingers four times in the shape of a 'Z'. "AOL won't get me a friggin' pizza, now, will it? Nor will I accept a pizza from VV... It'd probably have herpes in it..." CC said with a sickened face.

"Yes, that may be be so, CC... But, there are just some things that we can go without... Especially herpes. You'll see... Besides, you can order pizza online now."

CC sighed, before hitting herself on the forehead. CC was technophobic. Lelouch knew that. There's something about the gruesome thought of hitting a power button that had CC frantic with fear in the corner of the basement each night. So, why did he do this to her?

Lelouch walked to the fridge, looked around and grabbed some ketchup. After closing the door, VV and Lelouch began to walk up the stairs, before CC stopped him.

"Hey...! You don't even have any food in your room to use that with. Why do you need ketchup...?" CC asked, with a confused look on her face.

Without changing his face except for a twitch of his right eye, Lelouch replied, "Don't worry about it... It's all for... _reference_... Yes... _reference_..." Lelouch gave a 'you-better-believe-it' face before using a powerful 'escape from CC jutsu'.

"I'M GONNA BE THE WORLD'S GREATEST HOKAGE!!! BELIEVE IT!!!!"

CC threw a chair at him as she sighed once again. "Get a job, kid..."

* * *

"Lelouch... Where is the TV? You know I how I get when I go a day without watching Oprah... And plus, there's a Judge Judy marathon in an hour."

"As I said earlier, my beloved CC; we no longer need a TV. We now have YouTube. Nor do we need Oprah. And we don't need Judge Judy when we can get an actual live-version enactment from Nunnally when we put door-stoppers under her wheelchair..."

"...True." CC was upset that she couldn't watch her favorite T.V shows, but at least she could take a nice, warm shower to keep her awake.

* * *

CC came out of the shower to find Lelouch with his laptop in the living room. CC felt calm now that she had her shower, and sat next to Lelouch to see what he was doing. Although CC was a technophobe, she only was afraid of touching computers, not watching them.

Lelouch was on a new website. At the top of the screen, a giant logo of the word 'You' on top of a red box with the word 'Tube' was displayed.

"Youtube...?" CC questioned.

"Yup." Lelouch had finally managed to click on the link Kallen had sent him on Facebook a while ago.

The message repeated itself in Lelouch's mind as he hovered the mouse over the link Kallen had sent.

_"hey lelouch i know how u were upset when tinky winky from teletubbies wuz voted off the island last week on Survivor ok so i made you a video about him... its funny watch it"_

Lelouch breathed in before clicking. Tinky Winky _was_ Lelouch's favorite Teletubby. So, maybe this video... Would be...

Lelouch stared blankly at the screen as an unexpected video accompanied by 80's or 90'smusic, beginning to play. Lelouch watched the video in sheer horror until it reached the middle.

_"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down... Never gonna turn a-round, and desert you!"_

Three minutes into the video, Lelouch scrolled down to look at the video's comments. Someone with the user name KallenRed145 had posted, "haha lelouch i got u"

Lelouch then made a note to poison Kallen's cocoa puffs cereal next time she ate breakfast.

CC left out of boredom and began to ponder Lelouch's mental health.

* * *

One way or another, Lelouch had found himself an hour later, searching up every video he could possibly think of;

Fred goes Swimming.  
Dramatic Gopher.  
The Evolution of Dance.  
Sparta Remix.  
Avril Lavigne - I Don't like your Girlfriend.  
Ninja Cat.

Like I said; Everything you could possibly imagine.

After watching episodes of Code Geass, a show that apparently he the star of, Lelouch kind of felt like his life was missing something.

"this show suks, i know what happens in the end anyways" he had commented on the text comment area. He got ten thumbs down within an instant.

Lelouch decided that he wanted to watch the Cuppycake song, as it reminded him of his incestuous affection for Nunnally, but discovered that the audio had been removed due to copyright infringement.

Also, after trying to view reruns of Saturday Night Live, Lelouch considered suicide upon seeing that those had also been removed due to copyright.

* * *

"Come on, Lelouch. Let's go to Best Buy. I've got to buy some more memory for my computer. I'll get you something if you go along." Suzaku offered.

"CHOCOLATE RAAAAAIN! Some stay dry while others feel the pain CHOCOLATE RAAAAAIN! Made me cross the street the other day, CHOCOLATE RAAAAIN! **I turn away from the mic to breathe**"

"I take that as a yes..." Suzaku strapped Lelouch to the top of his car as he drove off to Best Buy.

What would happen there, was beyond anyone's guess...

**What could possibly go wrong?**

**

* * *

**

**Accepting recommendations! Be sure to leave them in your reviews!**

**Thank you**

**OSPancake**

**P.S - If you like Lelouch Gets A Myspace, please go to my profile and check out my other ___ gets a ___ stories!  
They are; VV gets a Haircut and Charles gets an Eviction.**

**Thanks again!  
**


	4. EXTRA CHAPTER Worst Buy

* * *

_**Unnecessary Authors Note #1 :** Hello. I decided to put an unnecessary author's note here because quite honestly, I'm bored. Yes that's right. I don't like Chinese food but sometimes I'm all right eating at McDonald's._

_Anyways, I decided to include an extra chapter, as it was actually shorter than all the other chapters preceding it, and that it didn't have anything to do with an obsession. I decided to take in a recommendation from Uchiha Nara. and this is the extra chapter leading up to the main chapter. _

_It should be pretty apparent what Lelouch's next obsession is by the end of this story.  
Thanks for reading loyally thus far, and I hope you all stick around!_

_P.S - I have a serious case of writers block, sorry if this chapter was a bit __blah._

* * *

**EXTRA CHAPTER #1 - Worst Buy**

"Come on, Lelouch. We're almost there, buddy!" Suzaku quickly put a leash around Lelouch's leather doggy collar, tugging it gently once applied to get him to follow. Perfect scenario to start an M rated yaoi fanfic, right? Yes. But, alas, this is not a yaoi fanfic, it is a lame T rated humor fanfic.

"Woof!" Lelouch barked.

Suzaku dragged Lelouch through the automatic door entrance of the big blue and yellow looked up as he saw the store's logo. It was a yellow tag, torn into two pieces, with the black letters "Worst Buy" printed on top of it.

"That's odd... I thought this was Best Buy..." Suzaku stopped. "Oh well."

Soon, he was inside of the building, Lelouch behind him.

"Welcome! Do you need help with anything today?" An employee greeted Suzaku with a smile.

"No, thanks, I'm already taken." Suzaku continued to walk, Lelouch on the leash shortly behind him. The clerk took one look at Lelouch, walking on all fours, and stopped Suzaku quickly.

"I'm sorry sir; we don't allow dogs into our store." he said with a frown. "I eat babies."

"Oh... Okay. Sorry, means that you're going to have to wait in the car. It'll only be a while. Promise." Suzaku bent over and undid the leash from Lelouch's collar, allowing him to freely run back to the car.

"Arf..." Lelouch sadly barked.

* * *

With his tail between his legs, Lelouch walked back to the car, opening the backseat door to allow himself in. He hopped in, sat down, and patiently began to wait for Suzaku to come back with the memory card he intended to purchase in this whole trip. It was getting hot, and Lelouch started to pant. Summer heat sucks. In order to keep himself entertained, he saw a little device in the top corner of the car. It had the words 'ON-STAR' written on it.

"ON-STAR?" Lelouch questioned. He then noticed a button and decided to press it. There was a beep before a voice began to speak.

"Hello, welcome to ON-STAR. Is there something I can help you with today?" the kind and friendly female voice said.

"...Heya." Lelouch said, chill.

"Uh... Hi. Did you need something?" the voice inquired.

"Hmm... Well no, not really. I just y'know, wanted to chat. Do you like to take long walks through the park?" Lelouch said.

"...Uh..." the voice said, flabbergasted.

"...So, uhm. Come here often?"

In the next second, the noise of an ON-STAR call being dropped emitted from the device. Lelouch then realized something. He got dumped over ON-STAR, the company that was supposed to help you with all of your traveling needs. It was a FML moment, indeed. Lelouch sunk to his chair and began to pull out his guitar from the back of the car, singing a sad song about his most recent heartbreak. "Wake me up, when September endddssss"

At that instant, a perfect HBO-style family of four walked past the car, stopping to look at Lelouch from outside the car.

"Look mommy! There's a doggy in that car!" the perfect little 8 year old daughter yelled. The boy next to her, also perfect, gasped just like your typical bad and untrained child actor.

"Let's eat it!" the boy suggested.

"Awww... Poor thing... He looks overheated." the always sympathetic young, blonde, and sexy HBO mom said.

"I'll fix that!" the 2-jobs-a-day-in-order-to-support-his-family dad came over with an iron rusty pry bar (Why was he walking around with that?) and shattered the window open. Whatever be the reason he was carrying a pry bar around with him for, I have no idea, dear reader, and I probably don't want to know, either.

"Be free, little buddy! BE FREE!!! RUN WITH THE WIND, RUN TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!!!" the dad yelled as he threw the pry bar on the ground next to him.

* * *

Finally, Lelouch was free. He ran over to the automatic doors and practically flew into the store, so fast, that the clerk couldn't even catch him. Once past the entrance, Lelouch found Suzaku over by the memory card area, talking to one of the salesman.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch wailed.

"Oh, what's that, Lassie? Kallen locked herself in the bathroom again?"

Lelouch sighed. Suzaku needed to stop watching HBO and Lifetime. It was seriously starting to mess with his hormones.

"I thought I told you to wait in the car... Well, whatever. Go ahead and look around for something. I'll buy it for you." Suzaku said. He then looked down at his memory card, saying aloud to himself the details of the memory cards he was considering. "Hmm... I seem to have forgotten which type of memory I wanted... Isn't that ironic... " Suzaku thought aloud.

Well, never mind Suzaku's pointless comments. All Lelouch cared about was that he would be getting anything in the store. Anything in the store? Anything at all? What a tough decision...

Lelouch decided to leave Suzaku to his 'business' and wandered off, looking around for what he could possibly want.

"Let's see..." Lelouch said aloud like your typical anime character would. "There's washers, dryers, CD players... Phones, Wii games, video game platforms... DvDs, misplaced and lost infants... How can I choose from all of these!?"

Lelouch circled the store a couple thousand times before deciding that he should just give up and buy the 1st season of Full House. He ran over to the DvD section, and looked to his right just so quick enough to catch a glimpse of the iTunes section of the store.

And that's when Lelouch saw it.

His breath halted.  
His heart stopped.  
His blood and circulatory system shut down.  
He began to die a slow and painful death.  
The ambulance came.  
They brought him back to life with CPR.  
They left.  
Lelouch saw what made his heart stop, once again.  
He died a second time.  
The paramedics said "Fuck it" and decided to just leave him there.  
But the sheer thought of seeing what he thought just saw brought Lelouch back to life all by itself.

Shining on its very own display case, a halo of light flickered (There was a hole in the ceiling, darn drafts) and Lelouch knew it was special.

The one.

The only.

**iPod Touch.**

"Suzaaaakuuuuu~" Lelouch wailed, his eyes shining, not leaving the iPod touch. He continued to eye rape it as he continued. "I want ittttt..."

"Well..." Suzaku began. He saw how much Lelouch really wanted the iPod Touch. "I don't see why not."

"YIPPEE!" Lelouch cheered as he jumped into the air, High-School-Musical style.

"BUT!" Suzaku shouted. "You are going to have to take responsibility for it... You'll have to feed it, groom it, clean up after its messes, and treat it nicely... An iPod Touch is a big responsibilty! Do you understand?"

"Yes mom."

"Then," Suzaku handed the iPod touch to the person working the cash register, "It's all yours."

"w00t!"

"Okay, that'll be $399." The merchant said.

Suzaku handed him a $1,000,000 dollar bill and said, "Keep the change. I'm trying to watch my calorie intake."

The merchant fainted, but continued to place the iPod Touch a plastic bag with the words "Worst Buy" written on it. The merchant then proceeded to slam his head in the cash-register a couple times before throwing his "How may I screw you over today?" Worst-Buy employee button on the ground and running to his boss's office. Suzaku could swear he heard said employee yell, "I QUIT FOREVER" before the merchant ran out of the bosses office, his tie tied around his head, spraying rainbow colored silly-string everywhere.

"Now _THAT'S_ what I call customer service!" Suzaku heartfully said as he handed Lelouch the bag and tugged on his leash. "Let's go, Lelouch. I just remembered left the stove on again."

"Arf!"

* * *

Suzaku and Lelouch made their way into the parking lot.

"Now, where did I park that damn thing...?" Suzaku pulled out a car lock control and hit a button.

"I'm over here, dumbass" the car yelled.

"Oh, there it is!" Suzaku and Lelouch ran over to the car.

"Hey, Lelouch...." Suzaku began.

"Arf?"

"Is there any reason why there's a broken window and a pry bar randomly lying next to our car...?"

Chuck Norris _disapproves._

* * *

**Unnecessary Author Note #2 : **_That's it for today, folks! iTune in next time (Get it? iTune in?) for the next episode Lelouch Gets a Myspace! In our next episode, Lelouch will discover the gift of having an iPod touch!_

_P.S - Thanks for your reviews and your suggestions! Some of you know that I have already taken a few of these to heart and will be using them in the upcoming chapters._

**Keep those reviews and suggestions coming! Arigatou!  
**


	5. iPod TouchMyself

**Warning for some slight language!**

**Thanks for all of your reviews and suggestions!  
Please remember to send yours in, once you're done reading!**

**Sorry for some of the pure randomness in this chapter! ^^;  
**

* * *

_The iPod Touch._

_Fabulous, sleek; Shiny, and designed to perform and operate with a quickness. _

Indestructible, even when thrown against hard surfaces, including Rolo's head... Well, that still has yet to be tested.

_But, you get the point._

Lelouch Lamperouge sat down on his comfortable green Lay-Z-Boy sofa and shuffled through the Worst Buy bag, searching for his prize. He was like a little boy on Christmas Eve.

He then pulled out the box from the bag, and read the words "the iPod Touch" aloud to himself. He shook the box a couple times, listened to what noise it made, and then continued to speak aloud.

_"I wonder what it isssss~!" _Lelouch said voice rising as he shook the box around yet again, trying to guess what was inside. Impatiently, he tore open the box with a nearby can opener (???) and was shocked to discover that it was an iPod Touch!

"OH! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!" Lelouch yelled as he hugged an indifferent CC.

"Uh... I didn't. You got it for yourself, dumbass. Just yesterday, in fact." CC, who had finally been cured of her technophobia, has now inherited Lelouch's laptop as a result of Lelouch getting a new iTouch. Now that he had the iTouch, he didn't need his old laptop anymore. The new owner, CC, was ordering pizza. Debating on pineapple and egg or green peppers and chicken flavored pizza, CC just gave up and went for the seafood pizza.

"Oh, yeah... That's right..." Lelouch frowned. He perked up when he continued to peer inside the iPod's box, to find a manual, a set of earbuds, and a list of safety hazards and warnings. He tried to unwrap the twisty-tie that came around the earbuds, and eventually they were free with a little bit of struggling. He set the earbuds aside.

Lelouch took one look at the manual before throwing it over his back. "No one ever reads the manual, anyways..." He said. Lelouch still held onto the safety hazards and warnings papers, not having discarded them properly yet.

And then... Lelouch finally reached it. His gift from above.

The iPod Touch sat, just inches below his fingers a container in the shape of a box.

As Lelouch began to pull the iPod Touch out of its container, angelic music filled the room, and a light from above shone into the room with the luminosity of a thousand suns.

"CC, what did I say about leaving the CD player on?" Lelouch walked over to the CD player and hit the off button, and the holy music stopped. "And seriously, we have to do something about the hole in the ceiling..." He said as he shielded his eyes from the sun above. As Lelouch spoke, a bird flew through the roof, landed on his head, and layed an egg.

"Like anythings gonna happen. I won't need this," Lelouch scoffed as he threw the safety hazards guide in his conveniently placed office paper shredder. _What are the odds of anything happening, anyways? _If anything happened, Lelouch could just look up troubleshooting on his iTouch, anyways, right? It's not like some freak accident is going to happen....

Just then in a freak accident, Euphemia burst through the clubhouse's front door, wild and mad for no reason as she accidentally (?) threw Lelouch's iPod Touch in the blender and set it to full speed. Her mission complete, she ran out the window, making a Family Guy "Evil Monkey" pose at Lelouch before finally running all the way out, never to be seen again. Talk about your badly written fanfic!

"Oh my god! What am I supposed to do with a situation like this!?Maybe the safety hazards guide will have some information on what to do!" Lelouch searched frantically looked for the safety hazard manual, and remembered that he had shredded it.

"I thought no one ever reads the manual," CC said in a sarcastic tone, "Besides, you shredded it up... " CC called over the sounds of Lelouch's iPod being torn to shreds.

"Yeah, you're right... _Oh well_."

As Lelouch turned of the blender and pulled the miraculously repaired iPod Touch out of the blender, CC ran up to him and looked over his shoulder at the new iPod.

"Ooooh, it's shiny... Let me see it-" CC whispered, reaching for the iPod.

"NO." Lelouch pulled the iPod away. "I don't want it to by dirtied by your filthy hands! Such a beautiful item... Such an antique..."

"Antique? It was probably produced in some lead poison filled factory last week. Like Rolo."

"Hmm... Yes, that is true, but at least the_ iPod _came out all right."

_**Meanwhile over at a certain fast food restaurant, Rolo was playing in the McDonald's McPlayland with his BFF, Ronald in the ball-pit...**_

"HAHA! Tag, you're it, Ronald!!!" Rolo yelled as he threw a red ball across the McPlayland to the McDonald's mascot clown.

"Oh, you silly Rolo! Get back here!" Ronald said as he ran across the floor, smiling, his red shoes squeaking like a rubber horn with each step.

"Hey, I want to play! ~tee hee~" Michael Jackson giggled as he pushed a little boy on the swings.

"Well, come on! There's always room for more!" Ronald yelled, shrugging with a smile that said, "Why not?!"

Little did Rolo know, that he had no friends. It was all in his mind. While he thought he was playing with a creepy burger clown and a serial molester, Rolo was really playing with himself (Not in the way you're thinking, though).

Some five year old kids ran, crying to their mothers.

"Mommy, what's that boy doing?!" they cried.

"I don't know, sweetie. _I DON'T... KNOW_. But if he ever tries to get near you, remember to yell 'Stranger Danger' and run. Got that sweetie? I wish I would have known that when I met your father for the first time..." the moms comforted their children.

_**Back to Lelouch's world...**_

"Haha! YES! I'M going to be the FIRST person in school to have an iPod Touch! Everyone else'll think I'm so cool! They'll all be jealous... You'll see... You'll ALL see!" Lelouch then cackled maniacally as he walked to his bedroom.

"Maybe I should tell him..." CC whispered to herself. "Nahhh."

_**Later that night...**_

CC woke up in the middle of the night when she heard loud footsteps coming from upstairs. They were heavy and loud. They were so heavy, dust fell from the ceiling of the first floor.

"What the--"

Rolling off of the couch to walk upstairs and investigate, CC slowly made her way towards Lelouch's room, where the faint sound of music began to become more and more audible with each step. Opening the door slowly, not knowing to expect, CC peered in to the room, to see a black silhouette of Lelouch dancing around with white earphones plugged into his white iPod. His room disappeared, and now, it was all just one neon color of purple.

"Oh my god... The commercials... The dancing silhouettes...! The colors...! THEY'RE... NOT... LYING!!!" All of CC's logic and everything she stood for was thrown out the window at that moment. Her eye twitched and she went into a stupefied state. The silhouette of Lelouch stopped dancing and began to walk over to CC. CC questioned her existence when she saw that the silhouette was now actually a part of Lelouch. However, when CC unplugged the earbuds from Lelouch's ears, he returned to a normal state. The silhouette disappeared, only reappearing once Lelouch snatched them back and put them back into his ears.

If you would have asked CC a week ago who needed counseling more; Lelouch or CC, CC would have responded 'Lelouch', with all of his obsessions. Now, CC would desperately beg for herself to go, as the side effects of Lelouch's obsessions.

Finally being left alone by the walking talking green stick of celery also known as CC, Lelouch was free to dance to the songs on his iPod like they did in the commercials. "I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE! AND I WON'T WORK FOR NO-BODY BUT YOU!" He sang loudly.

This would go on for another 4 hours until it was time for Lelouch to go to school. Until then, CC will just have to try to get as much sleep as she can, and pretend that she is mentally sane...

Lelouch couldn't wait the next morning as he put on his own clothes without CC help, like a big boy. He looked at the clock and noticed he only had about ten minutes to spare before he went to school. He let Nunnally listen to his iPod for a bit before deciding she had enough of it, and left the room to go bug CC, as he always did.

"Hey, CC, did you know your hair is GREEN?" Lelouch began.

"Yeah. It's not easy being green." CC sighed, taking a sip of her pizza-flavored coffee.

"Oh, I have that song on my iPod..." Lelouch bragged.

"..."

"Oh, hey, hey! CC! HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll give you $20 if you can guess my name right!!" Lelouch said eagerly, jumping in the air from his chair (I ryhme)with glee. He then stopped, hid his mouth with his right hand so only CC could see, and whispered, "I'll give you a hint! It's Lelouch!!!"

CC wrinkled her eyebrows a little. Was this a joke? Oh well.

"Uh... Is your name... Lelouch?"

"NO!!! How could you!? It's Suzaku!"

"Whaaaat? You just told me you were Lelouch... HOW CAN YOU BE SUZAKU?" CC yelled as she questioned her soul.

Upon hearing the code-word 'Suzaku', Lelouch jumped in the air once again, hollering,"Hey! That's right! I am Suzaku! You guessed it right!!!" Lelouch stapled a $20 dollar bill to CC's forehead before running out the door to walk to school.

_If you guessed that CC was going to spend the 20 dollars to buy pizza from Pizza Hut, would you please come down and claim your prize._

Lelouch walked to the school with his head held up high as he wore his new iPod Touch. With white earbuds in his ears, everyone would be sure to notice it! "That's so cool, Lelouch! I wish I was cool like you!," They'd all say. "Look at Lelouch with his new iPod Touch! I'm so jealous of him!," they would cry. Or at least, that's what Lelouch thought.

_**At School...**_

Lelouch opened the doors to Ashford Academy, and gasped upon seeing all of the students.

Yes, my dear reader. He gasped upon seeing all of the students wearing white earbuds and black _silhouette_ shadows. On top of that, everyone had floating letters next to them.

Confused at first, Lelouch started to read some out. "iPwn, iCharlesZiBritannia, iCornelia... Wait a minute!!" Lelouch then realized the horrible truth.

Everyone had an iPod Touch.

"HOW CAN THIS BE??!!" Lelouch yelled with his fists to the air. He dropped his iPod, causing a scratch in the back.

From the corner of his eye, Lelouch saw Rivalz walking down the hallway, also listening to his brand new iPod Touch. Quickly, Lelouch pulled him over, asking him one question.

"Rivalz! Why does everyone have an iPod Touch?! Did they all decide to go buy them at the same time or something!?"

"Buy!?" Rivalz began to laugh maniacally. "Why would anyone buy an iPod when they're giving them away for free in the student council room?!" Rivalz chuckled as he began to walk away, turning his iPod's volume up as to ignore Lelouch as he yelled.

This couldn't be happening. Lelouch wanted to be cool! How could he be cool when EVERYONE got an iPod?! Now, it's not cool anymore to have an iPod, because everyone has one. It automatically dropped its coolness on the cool meter.

Lelouch, furious, speed walked over to the doors of Ashford's student council room, bursting open the doors with a rage.

Once inside, Lelouch gasped as he discovered what Rivalz said was true.

"Here you go! Have a nice day." Milly smiled as she handed Euphie an iPod Touch. "Please enjoy!" She said as she handed another student yet another iPod. Not once did Lelouch see anyone hand her money for it. She was just giving them away, free. Enraged, Lelouch ran over to Milly and demanded an answer to this madness.

"Milly! _What are you doing_?! Why are we giving away free iPods!?"

"Well, when I bought my iPod yesterday, I accidentally bought 234,048,139 more extra... So, I decided rather than returning them all, I'd just, y'know... Give 'em away! Here you go, sir!" Milly handed another student an iPod.

"How do you buy 234,048,139 extra iPods by mistake?! That's like, $70,214,441,700 dollars!!!! AGGGGGGGH!!!'

Lelouch ran out the room, pulling his hair and screaming.

"So I take it the iPod Touch Coolness thing didn't work the way you planned." CC teased as Lelouch came home, soaking wet from the rain (perfect emo scenario).

"Frglmrlgalggerglrgle..." Lelouch growled in response as he threw his bag at the couch.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find a lunch table to sit at tomorrow." CC smiled as she ran upstairs.

"Shut it," Lelouch snapped.

"Someday, CC..." Lelouch said. "You'll see... You'll ALL see! I'll find something else... Something much cooler than ANY iPod out there!!! Who needs an iPod, anyways!? I sure don't! In fact, I don't even care what happens to it from now on! I think I'll burn it!!!"

"Hey Lelouch," CC called from upstairs, "Can I have your iPod?"

"Of course not! I love it too much..." Lelouch whined.

Lelouch walked upstairs to his room and pressed 'play' on his good ol' CD player with dramatic music in it as he frantically thought up more schemes and plots for tomorrow. He needed to fix his image, and bad.

It would only be a matter of time... The time it takes for him to recover from the therapy appointment CC scheduled for him that night, that is...

**Chapter 5 End**


	6. NintedOMG ds

**Unnecessary Authors Note #3 - Warning as always, for some sharp language and the occasional reference.**

_Thanks for everyone who reviewed and shared thoughts!  
I mentally gave you all a cookie, so just imagine that I'm handing you a cookie right now...  
You stretch your arm out, ready to grab the cookie...  
And a bird flies down and takes it away  
.And I have the power to call that bird back with my ability to breathe underwater, so therefore...  
You don't get that cookie back until you review.  
Do it._

_Thanks~!  
_

* * *

**- NintendOMG ds -  
**

The therapist walked into the room with white walls, a clipboard in his hands at his sides. He stopped at the doorway, pulled his clipboard near his face, and read off a name out loud.

In the room, he saw a horizontally challenged woman eating a cheeseburger, a kid with a running jackhammer in his left nostril, a homeless man trying to catch fish with his bare hands from the fish tank to eat them, and a teenage boy with black hair and purple eyes playing with a DS.

"_Lelouch Lamperouge_? Is Lelouch Lamperouge here?" He looked around the room. "Is there a _Lelouch Lamperouge _in the building?"

"Oh, yes, he's right here." CC anxiously called out, grabbing Lelouch by the his chain leash and pulling him out of his chair. Lelouch stumbled as he tried to continue on, playing his DS, but CC remained determined to make him follow. "Come on, Lelouch... It's your turn." She dragged him up to the therapist. Lelouch mentally cursed himself and his obsessions as he was in speaking distance of the therapist. He turned his black DS off and placed it in his back pocket. He had made sure to save the game, of course.

**YOU JUST LOST THE GAME. **_(Google that shit up)_

"Hello, Lelouch Lamperouge. My name is Dr Phil, and I will be your therapist for this evening. Do you like my pedophile mustache?" Dr Phil extended his hand, but Lelouch pulled away.

"I don't want AIDS, thank you." Lelouch snarled. CC swiftly elbowed him in the chest, making him cough and hunch over, clutching his gut in pain. "Gah!" He looked over CC, giving her a look that said 'Why?!', but CC only glared at him back with a ferocity that is much like a snake. Ssssssssssss.

"Well, come on into my room, Lelouch Lamperouge." Dr Phil led CC and a hesitant Lelouch into his office. CC stopped at the door and waved good-bye to Lelouch.

"I'll be waiting in the lobby." She then turned to Dr Phil and spoke, "May god bless your soul..."

Once in the room, Lelouch slammed the door behind him and sat down in a cozy armchair, letting the therapy session begin. He sighed, the emo kid he is and said, "What-EVER..." The therapist seem to ignore his comments as he searched around his room.

"Alright, Lelouch Lamperouge... Let me see... Let me see..." The therapist cycled through his file cabinets, picked up one of the manila folders, and opened it.

"Okay, Lelouch Lamperouge. From what your file says; You're pregnant, you're 32 years old, unemployed, unappreciated by your husband, Suzaku, and you have a tendency to take out all your rage by consuming six pounds of McDonald's a day in one sitting... Where to begin, where to begin..."

"Uhhh... I believe you have the wrong file, sir..." Lelouch spoke out, cautiously.

"Oh..." Dr Phil closed the file and turned it around to look at the name sticker, and then realized he had made his mistake. "I'm sorry, Lelouch Lamperouge. I meant to pull out the file that said "Lelouch Lamperouge" but instead I pulled out the therapy file of "_Lelouch vi Britannia_". Haha, who knows? You might be the same person... In fact, you might also be my child's father... Just kidding! Well anyways, I'll go find your folder, now..." Lelouch chuckled nervously to himself.

"Hehe... Yeah... As if..." he squirmed in his chair a little bit. This doctor was coming on to him. He was not sure who the father of his unborn child was.

"Okay, here's your file. Alright, alright... Lelouch Lamperouge, mhmm... Sister Nunnally is blind, in a wheelchair, and a total Loli... Yes, yes... Hmm... Has a talking pizza-consuming stick of celery named CC living under the same roof... I see... Oh.. Yes, and... 204,249 active fan girls standing outside the window of your house ready to rape you once you get home as we speak right now... Hmm... Interesting, yes... So very interesting... kjfasdfjdfkjl;j113o4jkfjowjjmwiecnals2oie..."

"kldfjowivognetoijgvfjjaeriae?" Lelouch responded in question.

"No, no no... You've got it all wrong... It's eioewgjvodjfadjfkldjf;lekj239rjesdjfnvnjgncadijfd." Dr Phil corrected him.

"Ohhh, okay. My bad. wsfjwojwtresdfkl." Lelouch shifted in the armchair a little as he pulled out something from his pocket. Dr Phil assumed it was gum.

"Well, okay. Why don't you start by telling me some details about your life? Like maybe some things about your-- Uhm, excuse me? Would... Would you mind putting that away for right now?

Lelouch looked up from his Nintendo DS once and blinked. "Say what?"

"Would you mind putting that electronic away? I'm trying to speak to you--"

"And I'm trying to beat this freaking game, but we can't all have what we want now, can we?" Lelouch glared before turning his chair back around and placing his legs up on the top of the sofa.

"Now, now now, Lelouch. We all can get a little angry at times, but it's still no reason to take it out on the people we love and care about..." Dr Phil began.

"I don't love you."

"Well, that's not the point. The point is--" Dr Phil was cut off by an irritated Lelouch.

"Would you mind being quiet for a minute? I'm trying to catch a freaking Pidgeotto." Lelouch hissed.

"Is that some sort of STD...?"

"No, it's a Pokemon. Now, SHHHH." Lelouch didn't even look up from his DS screen once as he spoke.

"Whatever! Be that way! I don't like you! You don't care about anything and I hate my job and--" The doctor's face was turning red, and Lelouch finally set down his DS, walked up to the therapist, and placed his arm around Dr Phil.

"Trust me; I'm not gay." Lelouch reassured as he slid his hand down his cheek. "Anyways, calm down, calm down... Hush hush..."

Dr Phil sniffled once or twice as he wiped his_ face from his tears_.. Er, I mean... _Tears from his face_.

"Now, now, now, Phillip. We all can get a little angry at times, but that's still no reason to take it out on the people we love and care about..." Lelouch began.

*sniff sniff* "...Really?"

"Yes, really."

* * *

_**ONE HOUR LATER...  
**_

CC sat in the lobby of the psychology clinic, playing her hand held game of Tetris. She was secretly hooked, and if Lelouch found out, he wouldn't let her live it down. CC was trying to tell Lelouch that there are other ways to go about life than have obsessions, but Lelouch got obsessed with this idea too, and since then, CC thought all hope was lost. Having Lelouch know that she had an obsession herself would just. Ruin. Everything.

"Hey, CC! I'm back! Hey, is it me, or does it smell like Tetris in here?" Lelouch looked around the room and sniffled a little.

"Hehehehehehe.... Uh... Yeah, it's just you." CC chuckled nervously. "SO! How did it go? The therapy?"

"Oh! It went really well! I helped Dr Phil... Oh, excuse me, Phillip, discover that therapy and psychology weren't really the job he was meant for. I got him to straighten his priorities and get his diet back on track, looked into his mind and told him to ditch his girlfriend, VV, and--" Lelouch was cut off by CC.

"Wait... So what about him helping you with your obsessions...?" CC asked, her eyes ready to widen.

"Obsessions? What obsessions...?" Lelouch looked at CC like she was crazy until he saw something in the corner of his eye and followed it with his head. He eventually smiled and waved, saying, "Good luck in the real world, Phillip!"

"Hey, thanks, Lelouch! You really helped me get back on track with my life!" Phillip beamed.

"Hey, it was no big!" Lelouch smiled back.

"Oh, and how's that Pidgeotto you caught in Pokemon doing?" Phillip wondered aloud to Lelouch.

"Ah, he's doing well. Well, anyways, see ya!" Lelouch waved once again.

"Farewell!" Phillip tipped his hat, and walked out the door with his suitcase. The bells tied to the door jingled as he exited the building.

_CC dropped her purse and her jaw. There goes $1,800, in both dentist and therapy appointments._

"You mean to tell me... All that money for therapy I paid... To get YOU out of your little obsessions for every game console and electronic device that falls in your hands... Was wasted for the customer to help the therapist with his life and moral issues...!?!" CC kicked a baby as she stormed out the room. She then ran back in the room, apologized, saying that it was the wrong thing to do, and then ran back out.

"Looks like someone needs counseling," Lelouch said aloud with a tone to his voice.

* * *

When Lelouch got home, he drove his car through the garage door without opening it, walked through his door (Also without opening it) and walked up stairs (without walking up them). He slammed the door in his room so CC could here it from whatever dark, evil corner of hell she was in right now. He threw his jacket on his bed and sat at his desk. He pulled the DS out of his pocket and decided to pull Pokemon out and try some other game.

"Let's see... We have... Rune Factory, Super Mario, World Ends with You... and oh! How could I forget!!!" Lelouch picked up a small game chip and rose it to the sky. "NINTENDOGS!!!"

Not hesitating to throw that bad boy chip into the console, he powered on his DS and sat back at his chair. He pulled out the stylus and used it to scratch the inside of his ear before tapping the 'start' button.

Lost in the game for hours, Lelouch lost track of time, playing with his virtual Chihuahua named Kallen Stadtfeld. IN less than an hour, when school started, he would be with the real life Chihuahua-Kallen Stadtfeld.

* * *

**_IN SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY..._**

"Lelouch, I really don't appreciate the attitude you've been giving me as well as the class, lately..." the teacher scolded.

"Meh." Lelouch said blankly, citing another internet meme he heard online yesterday. "Did he die?"

"What...? Well, whatever. I don't know what your reasons are, and why you keep playing your DS in class, but it's making me hard to concentrate while teaching my lessons, and it's really been bothering me lately. I can't think, I can't grade papers, and--"

"It's okay, it's okay, now now... We all can get a little angry at times, but that's still no reason to take it out on the people we love and care about..."

"*sniff sniff*" The teacher sobbed as she looked up at Lelouch. "really?"

"Yes, really."

* * *

_**THREE HOURS LATER...**_

"Hey, Lelouch, you're home."

"Yes, I think I noticed that when I opened the front door, thank you..."

"Shut up. Anyways, I got a call from your teacher. She said to thank you for her for 'helping her discover that teaching wasn't her true desire for a job, and now she can finally move on with her life as she wants to live it', or something like that..."

"Ohhh, that...."

"...Don't tell me..."

":-) We're getting a new teacher on Monday."

"SERIOUSLY, JUST GTFO RIGHT NOW!!!!!!" CC screamed as she threw pillows at Lelouch, urging him to GTFO right now.

Lelouch shrugged as he walked back out the door, and pulled out his DS.

Just then, the mailman walked by.

"God damned mailbox, won't freaking open..." He muttered as he fumbled with the Lamperouge Mailbox.

Lelouch closed his DS and walked up the the mailman, putting his arm around him as he said,

"Now, now... We can all get a little angry at times, but..."

* * *

_**THE NEXT WEEK... **_

"Hey, Lelouch. I'm sorry for what I said earlier this week..."

"No worries, CC. Everyone gets mad at some point."

"Yeah. So, anyways..."

"Yeah?"

"Why haven't we been getting mail for the past week?"

"...."

**THE END**

**

* * *

**

**Long/Short Unnecessary Author's Note #4 - **Okay, sorry that that wasn't much of an obsession chapter, but I took in a request  
from a good friend of mine who also writes here on Fanfiction. I hope you enjoyed the jokes nontheless, and remember...

Cookie.  
Only if you review.  
So do it.  
Or the cookie gets it.  
-Crunch-

_Possible hint for the next chapter..._

_"Guitar Zero"._

~OSPancake

**_***** NOTICE *****  
This story is on a little pause as A) I've got a lot of things to do in the real world at the moment, and B) I need to brew up some more ideas  
to make the next chapter yet another epic chapter. Please excuse the wait! Check back in a couple day's time, and surely enough, there will be  
another chapter waiting for you! Thanks for your understanding!_**

* * *


	7. Guitar Zero

* * *

_**Guitar Zero**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Today in the land of Britannia, a great rise of clamor was about. Downtown, there would be a large and magnificent Zero speech, and people could hardly wait. It was rumored that this was going to be 'The Speech of the Century', whatever that meant. The streets were decorated with random crap from last year's Christmas gathering, and stuff like that.

Some stores would be open for only a few hours today, and took advantage of the Zero speech for their sales to pitch. For example: Families went to Dollar Tree to stock up on disposable cameras. Others went to Wal-Mart to get the best deals on lawn chairs. Few decided to go to Blockbuster and rent the full Season One Box Set of "Full House", but there really is no logical explanation for that, is there...? Nor do we probably want one.

* * *

**At the Lamperouge residence...**

"Hey. Lelouch." CC stood at Lelouch's door, hands on her hips.

"Yeah, CC?"

"What are you doing on the computer at a time like this?" CC asked in a rather demanding tone. She walked up behind Lelouch from where he was sitting to see what he was doing.

"Oh, just editing a picture of Arthur on LOLcats. See? Oh... Why can't Arthur be as epic and 1337 as Ceiling Cat? I mean, look at him! Maybe he could be 'Zero Cat'--"

"Uhhh... That's great, Lelouch. Really, it is..." CC said with a hint of uninterest as she pat Lelouch on the back. "But, aren't you supposed to be giving a speech in a couple minutes?"

"OMFG YOU'RE RIGHT! Hold on one second--!" Lelouch sat back down in his chair and furiously typed in the Fmylife website address. "Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and--"

"LELOUCH! COME ON! You've got a speech!! We have no time for FML moments... Because your whole life is one. (Queue the 'Oooooooh snap!' audience sound effects)" CC pulled Lelouch out the door, with Nunnally trying to keep up after them on her wheelchair.

* * *

**Back at the Zero gathering...**

At the assembly, people already lined up the rails, awaiting their great hero to rise and present to them their speech. News stations set up their equipment; getting ready for the big moment. One news reporter stood in front of the speech podium, angered. Her name was Milly Ashford.

"Where's the mustard?!" Milly yelled as she threw the hot dog at her manager's face. "I said....I wanted...MUSTARD! DO YOU SEE MUSTARD ON THIS HOT DOG?! CAN'T YOU SEE HOW SERIOUS I AM!?!? I'M USING CAPS LOCK!!! IF YOU DON'T GET THE ORDER RIGHT NEXT TIME, I'M GONNA--" she then turned around and realized she was on camera. She regained her cool with a suspiciously quick speed and put on the happiest smile that her new face-lift could possilby manage. "Today, we're standing right here as we await the rise of our savior, Zero..."

She could only glare once her assistant brought her yet another mustard-less hot dog. "You are so fired..."

* * *

**Backstage...**

Lelouch sat backstage in front of a mirror with his cape and Zero outfit on as his dressing assists were putting finishing touches on his makeup. There was something on his mind... Something unnerving.

"CC..." he began in a nervous tone.

"Yes, Lelouch vi Britannia in disguise--I mean, Zero?" CC corrected herself.

"I'm nervous... What if... What if they don't like me?" A tear fell from Lelouch's eye as he wiped it away with his sleeve.

"Oh, now now, Lelouch... Everyone feels that way sometimes. Just be yourself." CC smiled warmly.

"Be... myself? And then... They'll like me? Really?" Lelouch wondered with a glint of hope in his eye.

"No. Probably not." (Cue the record scratch sound effect) CC turned around and left the room. Lelouch was left by himself and his assists to wonder why CC left. Suddenly, CC walked back in the door, backwards, as if this were all a movie on rewind.

"And, one more thing..." CC began.

"Yes, celery stick, er... I mean, CC?"

"Why are you putting on makeup? I mean...You're... You're going to be wearing your Zero mask..."

"True, dat." Lelouch shrugged as if to say, 'What do you want me to do?'

"..."

"Hey, Zero, you're on." A stage crew assistant wearing a headset called. He pointed to the stage entrance.

Lelouch jumped from his chair as his makeup artists were still applying makeup to him (He now has a trail of lipstick running to his eye) and landed on the ground with a thud. He quickly applied his Zero mask to its proper location on his head as he ran out on-stage, grabbing a large unknown object as he ran outside the doors.

"Sah-weet!" CC could hear him hollering down the street.

* * *

**The speech...**

"LOOK AT ZERO! Look at him."

"There he is!"

"What's that in his hand?!"

"I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!" an angry attendee shouted.

"...Michael, dear... This speech was free..."

"Oh, yeah, that's right..."

A spokesman walked onstage before Zero and gave a short speech.

"Citizens and Military of Britannia, I present to you; Zero! With a very important announcement!"

The crowd went OMGWTF as Zero walked on stage with his hands over his head in the 'rock on' position. He stood in front of a million screaming fans, waiting a bit for the applause to waver and die down. In the meantime, he picked up the object that he had previously grabbed on his way to the stage.

"I wonder what he's going to say..." was the phrase inside everyone's mind. What marvelous, ingenious plan did Zero have next?

Zero reached into the case, pulled something out from inside, and a very, very large High Definition Flat screen was lowered from the podium. A few technicians scrambled on stage, and eventually gave Zero the thumbs-up to go on.

The crowd was in confusion, as it waited for what this was all about.

Was that a... _guitar controller_ that Zero had in his hands?  
No... It couldn't be. Zero doesn't play guitar...

Or **_does_** he?

"YEAAAAAAAAH! BRITANNIA!!!!!!!! JAPAAAAAAN!!!!! LET ME HEAR YOU!!!!!" Zero screamed.

The crowd had no idea what was going on, but they roared in applause anyways.

_All Nightmare Long_ by _Metallica_ began to play as Zero faced the screen and played the corresponding notes. It was Guitar Hero.

Lelouch was doing awesome; the virtual and realistic crowds going wild. His Star Mode was off the charts, and he was doing great with 98% accuracy until something happened...

Charles zi Britannia suddenly walked on stage, and the song was over. Charles took one look at Zero, a pimped-out Guitar Hero controller in his hand. The crowd went wild with excitement. Was this... a competitor?

_This was the boss stage._

"So, you think you can be a Guitar Zero, huh?"

"I reckon I can." Zero said effortlessly, holding his guns at his sides. A tumbleweed scrolled its way across the platform.

"Well, then. I let you have the first move... You can pick the song." Charles said with a nonchalant tone.

"Okay, then... You asked for it..." Lelouch said with a bit of edge in his voice as he scrolled down the song selection screen.

"Hold on... Let's spice things up a little bit." Charles said as Zero was searching for a song. "How about... We make a bet?"

"Hmmm... Interesting." Lelouch set his guitar controller down by his sides. The crowd went silent, all of them trying to peer above and see what was going on.

"If I win..." Charles began. Lelouch leaned in for what Charles was about to say. "If I win...." Lelouch leaned in even closer. This was tense. "If I win..."

"GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!" A crowd member shouted.

"Alright, alright! Sheesh... Posers. If I win, you have to..." Zero embraced himself. Would he have to reveal his identity to the world? Would he be taken to prison? Exiled? Executed? "...If I win, you have to make me waffles."

Zero froze a second. The crowd gasped.

Wait, what?

_Waffles?_

That was the price of this glorious duel? Put the batter in a waffle machine, and out comes waffles? WTF?

"Now, place your bet, Zero." Charles said with a look on his face that seemed to taunt, 'Beat that!'.

"Alright... If I win, you have to give me complete control of Britannia." Zero sputtered quickly.

Charles fiddled with his beard a little as he thought to himself."Sounds good to me," Charles shrugged. Lelouch curled his eyebrows from inside his Zero mask.

That was it? If he loses, he makes waffles? If he wins, he gets Britannia?

"Then I guess we have ourselves a deal!" Zero roared along with his audience.

Meanwhile, in the crowd, Milly Ashford, the news reporter, threw yet another hot dog at her assistant's face. "YOU GOT THE MUSTARD THIS TIME, BUT YOU FORGOT THE HOT DOG!!!! I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS! THERE NEEDS TO BE A FUCKING UNION FOR THIS JOB! I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS! I CAN'T! IN FACT, I-- Oh, hello, Britannia... Milly Ashford, here! Zero has finally made his move, and our King and the brave knight stand head to head in an epic battle before us..."

Lelouch had picked up his guitar controller and selected a song. He decided that "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga was a good choice, besides the fact that there isn't even a guitar part to the song. In fact, if there was a guitar line in it, it would have been AutoTuned the hell out of, anyways. Lelouch said that

Charles and Lelouch stared each other down (Nevermind the fact that Lelouch was wearing a mask) and remained so as the loading screen... loaded.

Both of them had thoughts racing through their heads.

"Britannia's as good as mine...!" Lelouch thought eagerly.  
"Those waffles are as good as mine...!" Charles thought hungrily.

And... the loading screen dissappeared. The fretboard appeared on the screen, and the staff with its colorful buttons were dropped. The song was about to begin.

The announcer grabbed his microphone and held it up to his face. He began to watch the screen as he yelled, "On your marks... Get set... Go!"

And the song begun.  


* * *

**After the song....**

"So, Charles. I think that due to the agreement we had come to earlier, complete and proper control of Britannia is under my wing."

"Ahhhh crap..." Charles sighed. He then turned around to all his servants and the Viceroys of Britannia. "NO WAFFLES FOR BREAKFAST, TOMORROW!" He yelled. All of the servants and presidents swore profanity and turned around to go back home.

Charles handed Lelouch a piece of paper with the rights of Britannia on it.

"Oh well. I was really looking forward to those waffles, too..." Charles whimpered.

"Well, do you see?" Zero said as he turned around to face the large audience, "THAT, is what happens when you interfere with the ways of... ZERO!!!"

The crowd was about to burst into applause when one of Lelouch's assistants ran on stage and whispered something into his ear, hiding his mouth with a folder.

"HE WAS CHEATING!!!" the assistant suddenly cried out. "THIS CONTROLLER... IS BUGGED!"

"Oh shit, they're onto us!! C.C, QUICK! GRAB THE HOLY HAND GRENADE!!! COUNT TO THREE... BUT NOT TWO, FOR THAT WOULD BE LESS THAN THREE! IF YOU COUNT TO FOUR, YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR!! FIVE IS RIGHT OUT!!!'

Lelouch tried to resist the guard's attempts to grab the paper from his pocket, throwing himself to the ground to hide.

Would he make it?

No. Of course not, for the sake of hilarity.

* * *

The Next Morning....

Charles zi Britannia sat at his table, feet out in front of him. Taking a sip from his cold glass of Red Bull, he was relaxing as he set his eyes on his new breakfast chef.

"How're those waffles comin' along, Zero?"

Lelouch, who wore his everyday clothes and an apron, but with the Zero mask still on, turned around. "Yeah, yeah... They'll get there..." He muttered.

"Okay then. You can put them on the large serving plate when you're done; everyone here is hungry." Charles saids he gestured to all the Princes and Princesses of Britannia, sitting eagerly at the table with forks and bibs.

"I'll tell you another place I can put them--" Zero muttered.

"What was that?" Charles said with a raised voice.

"Oh, nothing. I just can't find a syrup thick enough for you to suffocate on."

"That's what I thought."

* * *

**Unnessecary Author's Note: Hello! One Sided Pancake is happy that this chapter had the mentioning of pancakes in it! Yeaaaaah! Well, anyways... This chapter was really sloppy starting around the part where Charles entered the story, due to the fact that I took a two week break from writing. I just got finished moving halfway across the country, and therefore... I almost forgot about this chapter completely. I will go back and edit parts that I see unfit, once I gain back my regular IQ.**

A review will do nicely for my brainz. ^_^


	8. EXTRA CHAPTER 2 ShameWow

**_Unnecessary Author's Note - Well, I took some time to think of what this chapter could have been, and in the meantime I took the time to watch a whole lotta infomercials. There are so many references to real-world things and events that I cant' even list 'em all. But, almost none of them relate to the internet-theme of the story, but I still wanted to include them._**

**_So therefore, this is the second Extra Chapter to this story series! Please enjoy; the story will be continued in a few days._**

* * *

**Shame-Wow**

**

* * *

**

* * *

Lelouch was watching reruns of "Leave it to Beaver" from the comfort of his brand new La-Z-Boy recliner. You see, fellow reader; Lelouch Lamperouge is far too poor to be able to afford that trip to Hawaii this year. Ever since he got laid off from working at McDonald's, he had to spend his college savings on buckets of Play-Doh to fix the leaky ceiling from last night(?)

He took a sip of his exotic pineapple-flavored beverage, adorned with an orange with a neon-colored sword through it at the top and one of those little paper umbrellas... You know, the ones that if you tear open the white thing at the top and unroll it, you see Chinese printing. Yeah.

All was well in the Lamperouge Residence, and save for the Evil Monkey living in Rolo's closet, everyone was once again at a calm.

"Oh tartar sauce," a distressed call came from the kitchen in the room over. "Leloooouch, could you hand me a paper towel, please?"

Lelouch sighed, "Yeah..." as he placed his tropical drink down at the table beside him, and got up, throwing his lei on the floor angrily as he did so. His sunglasses followed right after, and he drudged his way over to the kitchen.

As he walked into the decorated kitchen, he sighed for dramatic effect, reached to the counter top in the corner, and took the roll of disposable paper towel. Looking back to CC, he wanted to see what she had needed them for in the first place.

He saw 18 Chinese (Federation) Acrobats, Elton John on a trampoline, and Tom Cruise half drunk with a lampshade on his head. Blood caked the walls, although there were no other signs of evidence hinting where it could have come from.

"Uh... You might need more than a paper towel to clean this..." Lelouch had suggested in a disgusted manner, more offended by the fact that Elton John was in his kitchen rather than that 18 acrobats decided to hold practice in his household. He threw the white roll at CC, and headed back towards the living room before CC would try to sucker him into helping.

"Hey, Lelouch, could you help me clean this?"

Lelouch stopped in his tracks and groaned.

_Too late._

_

* * *

_**  
2 hours and 12 rolls of paper towels later...**

"Hey, CC. I got most of my half of the kitchen clean, but the garbage dumpster outside is full. But... Where do I put **this**...?" Lelouch questioned, holding Tom Cruise.

"Well... You could put it in the closet for now, next to the vacuum cleaner. (ba-bum bum)"

"Y'know, these paper towels are so unsatisfactory..." CC said as she wiped sweat from her forehead.

"They just don't get these stains out!" Lelouch cried, throwing his hands up in the air.

"They're _nothing_ against germs, mold, and _mildew_!"

Lelouch went over to the kitchen sink, looking out the window to the sky.

_"What would Billy Mays do?" _Lelouch asked himself.

Billy Mays appeared in their kitchen out of nowhere.

"DID SOMEONE SAY.... **MILDEW?!**"

CC and Lelouch stared blankly at the salesman with disbelief.

"HI, BILLY MAYS HERE, AND I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO OXY-CLEAN! BLOOD-STAINS DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST THIS NEW CLEANING PRODUCT HERE!"

"Dude, get out of my kitchen. Besides, didn't you die, like, a week ago?"

"BUT WAIT-- THERE'S MORE!!!"

"OH NO THERE BETTER NOT BE" Lelouch said as he pushed Billy Mays out the front door. Slamming the door behind him, Lelouch ran to the window to see if Billy was leaving, which he was. He was walking down the sidewalk, apparently talking to the air around him, still advertising.

"FOR ONLY 19.95 (Plus shipping and handling) I'LL THROW IN ANOTHER CONTAINER, ABOLUTELY FR--"

Poor Billy Mays. That was his final offer. (ba-bum bum)

* * *

Lelouch walked back into the kitchen, finally glad that he could relax again. He picked up his tropical lei he had thrown on the ground earlier, held a new drink, and placed his sunglasses on their proper location over his eyes.

"Oh, shoot, I forgot the umbrella..." Lelouch set his drink down and turned around to start walking upstairs, but he was stopped by a booming voice.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The television suddenly yelled at Lelouch. He stood at ease, freezing in his footsteps. "SIT YOUR ASS DOWN ON THE COUCH" Lelouch backed up towards the couch and immediately sat. Lelouch figured that when your Television demands you to do something, you probably shouldn't disobey. Thus, is the logic of the Home Shopping Network.

The screen changed to a small blue room with a table and bowl. Some guy wearing a headset walked onto the screen, wearing a headset.

"Hi, it's _Vince_ from Sham-wow; you'll be saying WOW every time!" Lelouch raised an eyebrow. "It's like a shammy, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge!"

* * *

CC walked into the living room after having cleaned up the evidence...er, I mean _accident_ in the kitchen. She put a hand on Lelouch's shoulder and watched the Television with him. "What show is this?" She asked, crinkling her forehead.

"Oh, it's just a commercial." Lelouch answered. The commercial kept on rolling.

"Sham-wow! A regular towel doesn't work wet. _This_ works wet _or_ dry!"

"That's what she said!" CC yelled. Lelouch punched her in the gut, paying no attention to her as she cringed on the ground for the rest of the evening. He was getting tired of CC's recent phase.

"CC... Fetch me my wallet... And my phone." Lelouch demanded. He held out his hand, waiting for either. CC ran into the other room, and returned with both. She knew much better than to stay and listen to the phone call...

* * *

CC was getting worried. She tried many attempts to interest Lelouch into going outside. He had been sitting there in the living room, in front of the TV, phone in hand. With the Shopping Network. Now THAT was dangerous.

Finally, the green haired girl decided to go into the living room and see what it was that he found so interesting about the infomercials. Shielding her eyes as she walked in, she accidentally tripped over something and landed in a giant pile of something. Opening her eyes, she looked to see a bunch of random objects;

"Mighty Putty, Sham-Wow, Oxy-Clean, a ladder, crappy hair extensions with beads, Rolo's toothbrush, Nunnally's wheelchair, Lloyd..." CC shook her head. "My god, Lelouch! Are you telling me that you bought all this crap off of the television?"

Lelouch payed no heed to CC's ranting, and was focused on the screen. CC saw an old, round, man in a blue vest with a mustache sit down as he looked to the screen.

"DIABEETUS." he said, before he walked back off-screen with the peace sign, and the commercial was over.

Lelouch cowered in fear, eating popcorn as though he was watching the thriller of the century. CC shook her head, doing a /facepalm.

"Hi it's Vince from Slap-Chop! You'll be in a great mood all day..."

CC glanced over at Lelouch, and saw that he was at 100% attention to the commercial. Drool hung from his bottom lip, and his pupils had grown within his eyes.

"**Stop** having a boring tuna, **stop** having a boring life!!" the spokesman yelled.

"So that's why my life is so boring! It's because I have boring tuna!" Lelouch said, amazed.

"One chop, breakfast; two chops, **SALAD**!"

Lelouch immediately reached for the phone, and CC walked out of the room, disgusted.

She had to end this somehow.

* * *

CC had thought of many ways to make Lelouch pay for his newest phase, or at least get him out of it. She decided that for the rest of the evening, she wouldn't talk to Lelouch. She was going to hold a grudge until he learned to calm down with this phase. Until now, she had always been patient, understanding, and calm about the whole thing. But now, she's going to put her foot down. No more Mr. Nice Guy. No more Saturday Morning Cartoons with Lelouch. No more--

"Hey, CC, could you get the mail for me?"

"Yeah... Say, did you hear about the whole Michael Jackson thing?..."

* * *

"Lelouch. I accidentally spilled in the kitchen again; do we still have some of those paper towels? The ones with the pretty designs sewed in to the fabric?" CC sighed as she took a sponge and wiped off some of the mess she had made whilst cooking. She took the sponge over to the sink and squeezed it, all the mess coming out as a colored water. CC thought to herself, "Sigh... Well, I guess I have to clean with this sponge until now. You ready, sponge?" Suddenly, the sponge shouted "I'M READY! I'M READY!" and CC threw it at the wall, horrified look on her face. It was never a good sign when your cleaning utensils talked back to you. This, CC knew for a fact.

She walked over to the kitchen sink, and sighed. She grabbed a rag and continued her work. Lelouch slowly walked in the kitchen, hands behind his back, with an infamous grin on his face.

"Oh, CC... You poor, deprived, and misguided soul. You really must get with the times! Towels are _**so**_ last century! The new cool thing is a Sham-Wow," Lelouch scoffed.

"What's a Sham-Wow?" CC asked curiously. "Does it hurt?"

"Hahaha!" Lelouch laughed, slapping his knee. "Of course not; It's a shammy, it's a towel, it's a sponge... All the_ cool _people have _Sham-Wows_, now. Except for you."

CC began to whimper, "You mean... I'm not...I'm not...?"

"No, CC. You're not cool anymore..." Lelouch leans over to CC ear and whispers "And people are startin' to be able to tell you're not a natural green..."

CC with wide-eyes, gasped while tears welled up, and she looked like she was going to run into the bathroom. Lelouch stopped and decided to comfort her.

"But, my dear CC! Look! We have..." Lelouch pulled an orange Sham-Wow out from behind his back, "We have _these _now!"

"..." CC sniffed as she took once of the Sham-Wows. She held it to the light, wielded it like it was the Sword of a Thousand Truths, and pretty chorus music began to play.

"Yes, CC... Go on. It is your_ destiny_..."

"It is... my... destiny...."

* * *

The kitchen was spotless, and sparkle graphics made the room shine. CC wiped her forehead of sweat using the Sham-Wow she wielded as her Main-Hand weapon, the Oxy-Clean equipped in her Off-Hand.

"Well, the kitchen's clean now, Lelouch. What do you say we go get some ice cream?" CC said with smile as she set the Sham-Wow in the cabinet above her head.

"That's a great idea!"

Lelouch and CC ran to the Bat-Mobile and were on their way to the ice cream store before you could say "Lelouch and CC ran to the Bat-Mobile and were on their way to the ice cream store before you could say"....

* * *

At Baskin Robins, CC helped Lelouch look at the menu to find what kind of ice cream he wanted.

"Well, let's see... They've got Rocky Road and Cookie Dough; aren't those your favorites?"

"Yeah, but I could sure go for a Banana Split... Or Bear Tracks... I can't decide." Lelouch frowned.

The cashier smiled at his two newest customers and smiled. It only took Lelouch a second to realize that he had seen this face before...

"HI, IT'S VINCE FROM BASKIN ROBINS, AND YOU'LL BE IN A GREAT MOOD ALL DAY! THERE'S VANILLA, THERE'S CHOCOLATE; YOU EVEN GET A FREE CHERRY ON IT! ORDER NOW AND WE'LL GIVE YOU SPOONS TO EAT IT WITH... NO MORE HAVING TO EAT ICE-CREAM WITH YOUR FEET! WE CAN'T OFFER THIS ALL DAY... AND YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS..!"

* * *

**_Unnecessary Author Note: Well, I am officially able to say that I have so many requests and suggestions, I have to start making some room for them in the story. Someone suggested 'Infomercials!' and another said "Slap-Chop!'. A friend of mine announced their fear of Elton John and I decided to poke fun at that, too.  
Then, I combined some World of Warcraft with Family Guy, and Voila! An extra chapter._**

_**If you're unfamiliar with some of the memes, and this story didn't make any sense (Not that it's supposed to, anyways) or make you say "AHA! I know that meme!", I suggest you take a little trip to Youtube.**_**_  
Nevertheless, keep those reviews sending! I look at them and I'm trying as best as I can to slowly include your suggestions into the story, but it may take a little while!_**

_O.S.P  
_


	9. Lloyd Lloyd Revolution

_**An brief explanation...**_

**SUZAKU**: Hey, Kallen, I'm out of duct-tape; can you rope his hands together while I go look for some?

**LELOUCH**: _MFPZQSFGHQZDKRTWQBBQWTFSTFU!!!_

**KALLEN**: Yeah. I think there's some in the guest bathroom.

**SUZAKU**: What's it doing in there?

**KALLEN**: ...None of your busine-- Oh, crap, Suzaku, quick!! We have visitors WTFBBQ!!!

**SUZAKU**: Oh crap! That time, already?! [Pulls out lines from back pocket] "Welcome, reader... You may all be wondering where Lelouch has gone, and we can assure you that his very long vacation in Hawaii-"

**LELOUCH**: _RTFGJKZXVB!!!_

**SUZAKU**: "--Is going great, and that right now, he is probably having a good time."

**KALLEN:** ...And... CUT! [Turns off camcorder] Good one, Suzaku! They'll _never_ know what_ really _happened!

**SUZAKU:** Haha! I know! We've got it covered! Stupid Lelouch, taking up all the story! We secondary characters never get the chance to shine! Well, not that we've got him tied down, what do we do with that One-Sided Pancake weirdo? That Fanfic author who abandoned their stories for like, two months!

**KALLEN:** [Disgusted] ...I'll go get the flame-thrower.

* * *

**Lloyd Lloyd Revolution  


* * *

**

"Lloyd, I don't see the point of coming here." Ceciel whined, "I mean, what if someone finds out that we're ditching work?" She looked around the Clovisland Video-Game Arcade with discomfort, as paranoid as can be.

Lloyd smiled to Ceciel as he absent-mindedly handed the ticket-booth worker his wallet and Drivers' License. He took the two tickets into his pocket and walked into the arcade.

"Haha! Rest assured, Ceciel! There's no way anyone would ever suspect us..." Lloyd pulled out his megaphone, "_**OF PLAYING HOOKY!!!"**_

"Oh my god..." Ceciel frantically covered her face with her hands in embarrassment as she walked alongside Lloyd to the coin-exchange machines. She put her hands back down to her sides when she was assured that no one there recognized the either of them. When the two reached the machines, she sighed. "You didn't forget to bring your money, did you?" Ceciel began to put her money into the machine as she watched Lloyd fumble in his hot-pink fanny-pack.

"Oh, of course I didn't forget to bring it!" Lloyd grinned. "How much did you bring, Ceciel?" Lloyd wondered.

"Twenty dollars." Ceciel gave a smug smirk as she received her tokens from the machine. "How much did you bring?"

"My life's savings." Lloyd took his purse and turned it upside-down, allowing a waterfall of money to pour out into the machine.

* * *

"Well, where do you want to go first?" Lloyd asked, looking around at the many possibilities in the arcade.

"Hmm... I'm not sure. I haven't really been to an arcade like this, before."

"Never!? My dear Ceciel, what planet do you come from!? Uranus?! Saturn?! Chicago!?! Well... Here. I'll help you find a game. Let's see... Oh, there's Mortal Wombat!" Lloyd pointed to a two-person machine.

The screen displayed multiple wombats engaged in intense, brutal hand-to-hand combat. The wombat on the left pulled a chain-combo, and the wombat on the right fell in no time.

Ceciel's eyes bulged. "Oh, no... That game looks to violent for me! ..How about a different one?"

"Uh... Okay. Let's see... There's 'Spouse of the Dead'!" Lloyd pointed to a large machine, were two heavyset men held red plastic gun-controllers and furiously aimed and clicked them towards the screen.

"Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!" One of the men cried," This is the boss stage!"

The other man, terrified, also let out a cry. "Boss stage?!"

"Yeah! This is the one where your ex-wife invites you to her dinner party to celebrate her new engagement!"

"Oh #*& !!! Quick!!! Launch the grenades!!1!"

"I'm trying! No!! Aughghgggghhhhhhh... She... got me....!!! Ahghghghghghghghhghhhhh"

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!"

Ceciel and Lloyd blankly stared as the two middle-aged men collapsed to the floor in agony, clutching their hearts in complete and utter despair.

"On second thought, let's find a different game..." Lloyd said, with a nervous chuckle. Ceciel blinked before slowly nodding in agreement, following after Lloyd in a search for a new machine.

* * *

"Alrighty. Now, these games should be a little less hectic." Lloyd waited for Ceciel to take a quick glance around the room, in case there were any games she might find interesting. "There's Grand Debt Auto..."

The machine's demo displayed a man in a business suit on his cell phone, driving a car home, obviously speeding. "What do you mean, you forgot to pay the electricity bills?! Oh my god, the water too?!?!"

Lloyd shook his head. "Uh, no... Well, another racing game I heard about should be around here somewhere. I think it was called 'Super Mario Fart'."

Ceciel made a twisted face. "Uh... How about not?"

Lloyd thought a moment, and then nodded his head quickly. "Yeah, you're right..." Lloyd agreed nervously.

* * *

"Well then... Oh! I know! There's that one classic game that came out a long, long time ago... It's in every video game arcade. I just can't remember the name of it, though..." Lloyd pondered a moment, deep in thought, as he held his hand to his chin and thought.

"What was the point of the game?" Ceciel questioned. "Maybe I might know."

"Oh, you know, the one where you control that little yellow guy, and you have to eat all those white dots while being chased by ghosts..."

"Oh, that's easy!" Ceciel exclaimed in excitement. "Pac-Man, right?"

"Oh!" Lloyd yelled upon remembering. "That wasn't the game I was talking about, but now I remember it! It's called 'Crack-Man'!"

"....No. Just, no."

* * *

"Well, I'm sure there's some game around here somewhere that we can play without our brain cells being ripped to shreds..." Lloyd assured Ceciel.

"Yeah, right. Heck, what happened to video games nowadays?" Ceciel wondered aloud, raising her arms above her head like a B-Rated movie star. "Doesn't the society know how these video games are tainting the brains of this nation's children to oblivion?! Why, parents should take a stand! TAKE A STAND, AND--!"

"Oh, hey! Now there's a game that looks corruption-free and brain-cell friendly!" Lloyd smiled as he yanked Ceciel's wrist and led her over to a large machine, surrounded by an enormous crowd. Ceciel sighed as Lloyd dragged her to the front of the crowd, where screaming audience members and cheering fans bickered about.

"Excuse me," Lloyd tapped a crowd-member on the shoulder, "What is this crowd for?"

The crowd member shouted a praise to the players before turning to face Lloyd. "What do you mean, 'What's this crowd for'? Why, It's for the BEST GAME EVER!"

"Oh, what game is it?" Lloyd further questioned.

"Sit-sit Revolution, duh! Like, it's all the rage, man! It's corruption-free and brain-cell friendly!"

"Oooh..." Lloyd admired.

The crowd-goer turned around and continued to yell towards the machine while raising a fist. "Fight the power, man! F1g|-|t 7|-|3 |0\/\/3R!!! \/\/00, 1337-5p34k!!!"

"Ceciel, that 1337 man says that this crowd is for Sit-Sit Revolution... Although, I've never heard of such a game before."

"Sit-Sit Revolution?" Ceciel pondered, "Nope. Never heard of it."

The two tried to struggle through the crowd to take a look.

There was a large screen, divided by a two-player division line, with arrows frantically skipping around across the frame. Before the large screen was a platform with two metal chairs seated on opposing sides. Two players sat in the corresponding chairs as they performed various sitting positions such as the "Lay-Z-Boy" position, the "In the Boss' office" position, the "Where's the remote control?" position, and lastly, the personal favorite, the "Honey, we have to have a talk" position.

"Wow... There are so many complicated sitting combinations!" Ceciel shrieked in horror. "I... I _can't watch_!" Ceciel shielded her eyes with her arms, cowering in fear.

"Oh... Quick, Ceciel! Look out yonder!" Lloyd exclaimed, pointing towards the empty chair on the platform. The defeated opponent was walking down the stage in shame, the crowd booing and taunting him as he took his steps off of the game. The winner, the all-time Champion, stood with a grin on his face as he gave a menacing glare to the crowd, challenging... No... _Daring _anyone to oppose him.

"Oh my god, what's going to happen? No one is stepping up!" Ceciel said with a horrified, twisted face.

Lloyd did not respond. His blank face stared at the stage.

"Now," the Sit-Sit Champion yelled, "Who dares enter my lair?" The crowd members looked amongst each other, trying to spot out any possible candidates for the job.

Ceciel whispered out of the corner of her mouth, "I wonder who'll go up and-- Lloyd? Lloyd?! Where are yo- OH MY GOD, LLOYD!!!"

Lloyd made his way to the chair on the podium, looked the Champion straight in the eyes, and said, "When this is over, I am going to go to The Macho' Nacho and order ten cheese Enchiladas."

The Champion took a deep laugh, a taunting laugh, and roared, "_You are not prepared!"_

"Hey, isn't that line copyrighted to World of Warcraft?"

"What-eva," the Champion rolled his eyes and said in a rather feminine tone, "Just take your seat..."

Ceciel watched in utter terror as the first round of this Sit-Sit Revolution sit-off began.

* * *

"Wow, Lloyd! I didn't know you had it in ya!" Ceciel patted Lloyd on the back heartily. "You're the new champion! Yo, barkeep! Keep 'em comin'!" Ceciel called to an employee of the Clovisland Tavern. "I mean, Lloyd! You've never played dat game before in yo' life, and you completely mashtered it! Woah!"

"Ughughsmivleboop?" Lloyd said with incoherence on his chair, clearly drunk.

"Wow, you really need'ta lose 'dat acshent uv yoursh, I can't undershtand... Agggh..." Ceciel fell to the floor, passed out.

"Me Spongebob, you Doodle!" Lloyd threatened, pointing his empty beer bottle.

* * *

**Unnecessary Author's Note: **_Wow... Just... Wow... Well, I was in quite the rush to continue this story. I didn't want people to think I completely abandoned my fanfics, so I'll be slowly but surely be finishing some of those *ahem* ...overdue... chapters._

_And, if the beginning with Kallen and Suzaku didn't make it clear enough (How could it..?), Lelouch will not be the star of every chapter from now on. Unless he escapes from the ropes ER, buys a plane ticket back from Hawaii *twitch twitch*!!!_

_Any-who, please leave your comments on the reviews page._

_P.S: Does anyone even remember that one line from 'Spongebob' that I snuck into the last paragraph...?_

_**Reviews, please!**  
_


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